On the two occasions I’ve tried Alexa, I haven’t enjoyed the experience much. The first time, I kept adding “Please” and saying things like “Could you…”, by which time “she” had gone back to sleep.

The second time was yesterday. I asked what the weather was going to be in London today, and was told immediately. The only problem was that it was the wrong London. There’s one in Canada too, and Alexa decided that that was the one I wanted, despite knowing that I live in England.

Then I asked what the latest news was, and it brought up the BBC news, which I could have done myself.

In fact, there is nothing Alexa did or could do that I couldn’t do myself. I can see it would be useful if I was in the middle of cooking: I could tell it to play some music. But as “cooking” for me usually means constructing a cheese sandwich (a toasted one if I’m feeling ambitious), it’s hardly relevant. And on the subject of music, I asked it to play Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto #2, and it decided that what I really wanted to hear was some dreadful honk tonk version. Look, I like honky tonk as it happens, but there’s a time and a place.

I can see it would also be incredibly useful for people who don’t have full use of their hands and arms.

However, I can’t get used to just barking orders at someone. Whatever happened to courtesy? I was thinking about this: is Alexa and similar devices teaching young children that (a) it’s ok to order someone to do something without saying “please” or “thank you”, and (b) does the fact that Alexa have a female voice subtly promulgate the idea that women are there to serve? It’s not just me who thinks this either. Have a look at Alexa, are you making me sexist? It even cites a UNESCO study on the matter.

I did a modicum of research on these matters. On the first, that of courtesy, there are apparently some people who think it’s unhealthy to encourage young children to treat virtual assistants as people. I didn’t know it, but Alexa has a child-oriented politeness mode, thanks to parental demand. I can see the naysayer’s point, so perhaps the answer is to not allow kids to use virtual assistants until they’ve learnt how to be polite.

On the second issue, apparently you can change the voice. I haven’t done this myself, because frankly life’s too short. But there is an interesting article about it, including celebrity voices coming soon. If they bring out a Clint Eastwood voice (“A man’s gotta know his limitations”), I might give Alexa another whirl.

I might even try it again once I’ve thought through how I can use “her” for my writing. For example, dictating an article and posting it to my blog or sending it off to an editor.

In the meantime, I’m going to have a browse through Debrett’s guide to etiquette.